An Ayurvedic Perspective on Healthy Relationships
Let’s not argue! There is no arguing that relationships require real communication, commitment, and work! Keeping a partnership happy, healthy, and mutually fulfilling is certainly worth the effort.
Knowing your partner's predominant dosha(s) can help shed light on their tendencies and personality. Knowledge allows for insight, and insight for patience and compassion. Compassionate listening and communication are keys in a fulfilling relationship.
Vata-dominant types are quick, creative, and expressive. They are quick to learn, quick to forget, and may get cold easily. When in balance, they are stimulating company — they have amazing intellects. Out of balance, they can become stressed out, nervous, and worried.
Pitta-dominant types are fiery and passionate. They need and want to accomplish. In balance, they love a good challenge; they can be unsurpassed in creativity and fun. Out of balance, however, they can be combative, controlling, and competitive, and may try to out-perform their partner. Pittas can be quick to anger, but with patience, compassion, and a little space, they can easily cool down.
Kapha-dominant types are soft, sweet, and nurturing when in balance. Their laid-back demeanor makes others around them feel at ease and comfortable. Out of balance, they tend towards lethargy, weight gain, and feelings of sadness or apathy. They need gentle motivation and reminders to stay on track in their desires and goals.
Check out our quick-vpk reference chart to see the qualities of the doshas when in and out of balance.
Here are a few tips from an Ayurvedic perspective on keeping relationships healthy and balanced for both partners:
Take Care of Yourself First
As is the case in all areas of life, when we are in balance, we tend to harmonize better. Therefore, the first tip for maintaining healthy, happy relationships with others is to take care of oneself first. When our own self-care falls short, other aspects of our lives may suffer, including those things most intimate to us. Try to prioritize your well-being — if needed, schedule it in, just as you would plan meals or activities for the week. Regular exercise or yoga, making sure you have time to meditate and have downtime to rela perhaps even going to the spa or getting a massage when you can… pamper yourself.
A few more tips to practice daily self-care:
Rest, rest, and more rest. Stay rested: When relationships become challenging, the first thing Ayurveda asks is “are you rested?” A rested person is a more patient, understanding person. A routine that prioritizes rest brings stability to our emotions and to our relationships. Aim to be in bed by 10:00 p.m. when possible and wake with the sunrise. Eat a lighter, well-cooked dinner at least three hours before turning in. Eating a late or large meal can interrupt sleep or compromise the quality of sleep.
Abhyanga: Ayurvedic self-massage is a wonderful practice to incorporate Organic Sesame Oil, vpk by Massage Oils, or premium Youthful Skin Oil for Men and Women. Take time for whatever makes you feel refreshed, nurtured, and balanced.
Herbals for emotional balance: Stress Free Emotions and Worry Free are really good for maintaining calm and serenity. Worry Free helps manage stress and worry, and Stress Free Emotions calms impatience, frustration, and anger. Organic Digest Tone (Triphala Plus) is excellent to take every day to maintain strong and healthy digestion, which is the foundation of good overall health.
Cooking a meal with a loved one can be a wonderful way to spend time together. Everything from meal planning (here are some of our great Ayurvedic recipes), to washing and preparing ingredients, to adding the perfect spice... can be a fun, quality activity together. Check out our Organic Churnas if you want to add some tasty spice to your life!
Pamper Each Other
There is little that compares to the heartwarming gift of coming home from a long day of work, caring for children, or running errands, to find that your partner has lovingly prepared a meal for you; is there undivided to listen to you; or has offered to give you a massage or run you a warm bath. Maybe the act of simply giving your partner space for a long Abhyanga self-massage can express genuine appreciation for all that they do. Our herbal Youthful Skin Massage Oils for Men and Women are a balancing addition to any Abhyanga practice. For a quick, yet therapeutic, way to create a blissful environment at home, simply add a few drops of our Calming Vata, Cooling Pitta, or Blissful Heart Aroma Oils to your diffuser and spend the evening unwinding with your partner.
Closeness Ideas? At meals, turn off electronics and give each other undivided time. Ask your partner what you can do that would make them happy this week and do it. Even if it is not a surprise, they will still appreciate that you listened and acted. Have a scheduled “date” night. Once a week, do something special with your partner. Do the dishes after they have prepared a wonderful meal, prepare a warm foot soak and massage for them (add one of our aromas to the water). Make a reservation at a wonderful new restaurant. Watch a movie or show that is uplifting to both of you! Couples that watch romantic comedies together have been observed to be happier. Engage in a sport that you can both do without stress. Take an evening walk and leave the devices behind! Let your partner know that they are the priority in your life, using words and actions. There are so many ways to show your partner you care. Stay balanced and healthy and bring the glow into your home!
For expert advice, watch our Creating Balancing and Loving Relationships webinar featuring Dr. Mark and Helen Toomey.
Here's to love!
The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. If you are seeking the medical advice of a trained ayurvedic expert, call or e-mail us for the number of a physician in your area. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.